Baby Steps of a Muslimah

Assalamualaikum

Happy news this way comes, . I’m very much in love with Ramadhan.

It has been a blessing 7 days. Terawih every night, tadarus every afternoon, and tilawah with the kids every morning (if there is tilawah in their time table).

“Apabila datangnya Ramadhan akan dibuka pintu-pintu syurga, dan ditutup pintu-pintu neraka, dan dibelenggu syaitan-syaitan”. (Hadith riwayat al-Bukhari (4/97), Muslim (1079). Taken from here.

Even the kids are not so bad, at this time of the year, discipline-wise.

There are a few exceptions, though, as these kids are fasting and as they are not used to fasting (especially year 1 pupils), tempers are hard to control (though as a teacher, you remind them ‘masa puasa inda boleh marah – marah, kurang pahala’), and when the year 4 pupils start to bash each other, not literally but more along the lines of ”A, ko ani, tuli banar’ says H’, you say ‘jangan doakan yang bukan-bukan masa bulan puasa. Kamu berpuasa, itah nya nabi, doa orang yang berpuasa dimakbulkan doanya’.

My work is piling up, but I’m not complaining, .

Another thing on the list: Training three pupils to sing a Maher Zain song. I’m not telling which song, c’est un secret!

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Salam

Yesterday, I had an asthma attack. Actually, I’ve had it for nearly three days already, but perhaps due to my own stubbornness, I refuse to go to the hospital to get treatment. But, yesterday, I said to myself, ok, I’m going to the Accidents & Emergency Department.

The nurse called me, asked my symptoms, why I went to AED, and I replied, with a shaky breath, ‘ampus’ or in English, asthma. She immediately hooked me up on salbutamol on the nebulizer.

Huhu, the last time I was on the nebulizer was when I was 5 or maybe 6. It was painful, but I need it to breathe properly. I’m not sure how long I was on the nebulizer, but I did miss my turn to see the doctor. When I did finally see the doctor, he prescribed me prednisolone (which the doctor at the Health Centre should have prescribed when I met her just that morning), and a new dose of salbutamol inhaler (as I have used up mine).

This incident totally remind me to muhasabah diri. Allah has covered the sins, by not revealing it to others, so in order for me to really taubat is for Him to cleanse me of those sins that He has covered, I need some sort of illness as kafarah for all the bad things I did. Terasa banar lah yg Allah tagur atu.

Again, this is minute compared to what Gaza people are suffering right now. Totally minute. The aid that was going to be sent has not arrived. I may have asthma, but at the same time, I can just grab the blue inhaler (salbutamol) prescribed by the doctor for immediate relief, or if it’s not sufficient, drive myself to the nearest AED to get salbutamol via the nebulizer. The asthma sufferrers (if there are any) in Gaza do not have such luxury.

So, let’s all take a stand and boycott Israeli products and products that are produced by companies that fund Israel. If you cannot boycott 100%, at least try to boycott maybe 70% or 50% or 30%, after all,

sa’atan fa sa’atan

step by step, sedikit demi sedikit.

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Artikel yang dikopi pasta dari iluvislam.com, moga bermanfaat untuk semua.

Perbanyakkanlah berfikir, renung penuh bererti.. Bagaimana bakal kehidupanmu sewaktu mengadap Tuhan Rabbul ’Izzati..? Selamatkah dirimu di hari yang tiada pelindung melainkanNya? Akan beratkah amal yang akan engkau bawa?

Justeru, renungkanlah duhai diri yang lemah. Agar kehidupanmu di dunia sentiasa waspada..

Semoga, akan hadir dalam hatimu jiwa yang sensitif dengan dosa. Merasakan dosa itu besar sekalipun pada kesilapan sekecil zarah. Ketahuilah.. itulah antara ciri-ciri mereka yang aqrab dengan tuhanNya. Yang punya Ihsan dalam hatinya. Merasa kehadiran Allah dalam setiap sentuhan masa yang ada.. sekalipun mata tidak melihat, tetapi hati menyakini Allah Maha Mlihat.

Untuk apa perlu dirisaukan, aduhai hati yang rawan.. sebuah kehilangan itu hanya secebis dugaan.. dari Tuhan sekalian alam.. Hilang bukan bererti tamatnya sebuah kehidupan, tetapi dengan kehilangan itulah darjatmu ditinggikan. Hairan? Mengapa perlu dihairankan, Allah itu Maha berkuasa, zat yang sempurna penuh keagungan. Lupakah duhai hati, Allah telah berjanji dalam kalamNya Izzati..

”Adakah kamu mengaku beriman, sedangkan kamu belum diuji?”

Maka, hadapilah ujian dengan sejuta kesabaran. Percayalah, yakinlah sepenuh hatimu..

Hanyasanya Allah bersama-sama mereka yang sabar.

Aduhai hati yang penuh kesedihan.. Mengapa perlu ditangisi sebuah perpisahan? Bukankah semua kita akan pergi.. pulang kepangkuan Tuhan. Dialah yang menjadikan.. Dan padaNya jua segalanya akan dikembalikan. Lupakah engkau, hidup di dunia ini sekadar persinggahan. Yang kekal hanyalah amalan sebagai teman. Itulah teman dalam perjalanan menuju sebuah keabadian..

Maka, janganlah engkau lalaikan hatimu dengan kehidupan yang sementara ini. Janganlah engkau tangisi lagi sebuah perpisahan sementara.. akan tetapi, hadapkanlah wajahmu sentiasa kepada Allah.. Penuhkanlah jiwa dan hatimu dengan dzikrullah memuji kebesaranNya. Juga sibukkanlah hari-harimu dengan amalan makruf nahi mungkar, mengikut sunnah kekasihNya.

Yakinlah, barangsiapa yang dihatinya ada Allah, dan mengutamakan Allah atas segala apa yang dilakukannya, Allah akan seiringkan pekerjaannya dengan pertolonganNya. Bekerja keraslah engkau untuk hari esokmu yang abadi. Berbekallah dengan amalan yang menguntungkanmu di sana nanti. Ingatlah, sebaik-baik bekalan adalah taqwa.

Duhai diri yang lemah.. Kembalikanlah hatimu kepada Rab.. Kerana Dia lah pemilik segala yang engkau miliki.. Segalanya hanya pinjaman untuk menguji. Kentalkanlah semangat juangmu. Jadilah seperti syaidatina Aisyah, puterinya Syaidina Abu Bakar..

Walau fitnah mencalar maruah, Dia tetap Aisyah! Walau rumahtangganya di landa badai anggkara si munafiq durjana, tetap teguh pendiriannya, menggunung tawakalnya. Pada Allah dia berdoa, mengharap furqan agar tenggelam segala nista. Insafilah duhai diri yang lemah, Allah sengaja menguji sekeping hati yang kecil.. sebagai tukaran untuk mendapatkan habuan yang lebih besar kelak.

Maka bersyukurlah.. bersyukurlah.. bersyukurlah kerana engkau insan terpilih.

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Bismilllahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah! Convocation went well on Saturday. I was very nervous, especially when I was on the first four rows (immediately behind the persons who are getting their Master’s), but everything went well, smiled at HM and remembered to thank HM, and then off I went back to my seat.

Words cannot describe what it feels to hold that undergraduate degree cert in my hands.  I just felt so content and happy. Thank you, Allah, for making it come true.

Thanks to my parents, who supported me all through the years I spent as a student, thanks to the government of Brunei who sponsored my study in UBD, thanks to my lecturers who graciously shared with me their ilmu, and most of all, thanks to all my friends who were there during the ups and downs, who listened to my rants, my complaints and offered their shoulders for me to cry on.

The bachelor’s degree is just a small step, there’s quite a lot of steps in front of me. The learning process never stops, there are ilmu for ukhrawi that I need to attain as well.

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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum

I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel kerdil, you know, not kerdil as in dwarf kerdil or pendek, but kerdil as in damit (again not in terms of height or body stature), but kerdil as in betapa kerdilnya tani when compared to Allah.

Manusia mudah lalai, and perasan we are all that, when we are not all that. We aren’t. We are kerdil.

This is how I feel when searching through the net, liat the researches that has been done by others. Though they are professors and expert in their field, but when I saw their research list, macam I felt my research atu, insignificant (it’s actually not insignificant, by the way), it’s just that, I felt so kerdil when I compare what I did to what they did.

Atu baru duniawi, and udahtah duniawi, baru in the realm of science, alum lagi when compared to the scholars in islam who has done so much…

Alum lagi compared to what has nabi did for us… ya Allah, lagi rasa kerdil… all his pengorabanan for his ummah

Alum lagi compared to what Allah has given us… from the skills we acquire, to the food we eat on the table to just about everything, including the air we breathe and the beating of our heart…

“maka nikmat tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?” (Ar-rahman:13)

So do you agree now that we are kerdil?

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Assalamualaikum

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

A lot of things have happened for the past couple of days (weeks?). Received a notification that I received a place to study overseas (alhamdulillah), so now waiting for scholarship results, met a few friends, made new friendships , and so and so forth.

(Oh, and plus my really adorable nephew, annoying but adorable, hehe)

On another note, alhamdulillah, I’m on my way to finish the Quran this Ramadhan, though I have this teeny tiny request to any of my readers out there.

What do you think of having an online tadarus? Each of my readers read 1 juzu’ from Juzu’ 1 to Juzu’ 30. Leave a comment if you are interested…

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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum

Today is a very long day, indeed. I felt like dropping off to sleep, though, I don’t have a habit of sleeping after Asar, tend to avoid it.

Ramadhan is nearing, and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait to be able to wake up at wee hours in the morning to have sahur with the family, I couldn’t wait to be able to break fast (sungkai) at maghrib with the family, I couldn’t wait to go to the masjid (or my uncle’s house) to solat tarawih, I couldn’t wait to do as much solat sunat as possible, as the benefit of solat sunat equals to that of a solat fardu in Ramadhan.

I’m more excited about Ramadhan than I am on raya. There’s just a lot of benefits that Ramadhan has that the other months don’t have, one of them is the fact that syaitan will be ‘handcuffed’ during Ramadhan to stop them from trying to lure the muslims from doing bad deeds, which means, the only thing that we are fighting against is our own nafs. Jihad an-nafs, one of the hardest war that we have.

Less than a week from now is Ramadhan, I hope I manage to meet Ramadhan.

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