Baby Steps of a Muslimah

Bismilllahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah! Convocation went well on Saturday. I was very nervous, especially when I was on the first four rows (immediately behind the persons who are getting their Master’s), but everything went well, smiled at HM and remembered to thank HM, and then off I went back to my seat.

Words cannot describe what it feels to hold that undergraduate degree cert in my hands.  I just felt so content and happy. Thank you, Allah, for making it come true.

Thanks to my parents, who supported me all through the years I spent as a student, thanks to the government of Brunei who sponsored my study in UBD, thanks to my lecturers who graciously shared with me their ilmu, and most of all, thanks to all my friends who were there during the ups and downs, who listened to my rants, my complaints and offered their shoulders for me to cry on.

The bachelor’s degree is just a small step, there’s quite a lot of steps in front of me. The learning process never stops, there are ilmu for ukhrawi that I need to attain as well.

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Assalamualaikum

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Alhamdulillah, today marked the 24th year of my life in dunya. Syukur, kana bagi lakat kesempatan to do amal ma’ruf nahi munkar. This birthday marks the second year of my baby steps to becoming a better muslimah.

Mikin tua, mikin akhirat dekat. Mikin tua, umur makin betambah, and mikin umur betambah ada yang cakap dosa makin betambah (naudzubillah), but yang penting, dunia semakin meninggalkan tani, and akhirat mengejar tani.

For the past 22 years, I have been selfish, doa untuk sendiri saja or untuk parents saja, or untuk family saja. But this year, I want to doa for the ummah.

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Assalamualaikum

Sedih berabis rasanya when I found out that my ‘cuti’ falls on the last 10 days of Ramadhan. Huhu, frustrated. But apa boleh buat, bukan rezeki…

Speaking of rezeki, heard a rumor that the scholarship people got interviewed already, and I have yet to get a phonecall from them. It’s ok if bukan my rezeki, at least I tried. It’s not as if I didn’t try, and assume saja, but I did try.

, smile. It’s ok. I did all four, doa – recited a lot of doa and performed as much solat duha and hajat as I could, usaha – did all the applications and asked questions regarding scholarship, ikhlas – my reason for wanting to further study is not just because lapas master gaji basar, but because of Allah, and lastly tawakkal – just leave everything to Allah, after all, He is the best planner.

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Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Assalamualaikum

Today is a very long day, indeed. I felt like dropping off to sleep, though, I don’t have a habit of sleeping after Asar, tend to avoid it.

Ramadhan is nearing, and I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait to be able to wake up at wee hours in the morning to have sahur with the family, I couldn’t wait to be able to break fast (sungkai) at maghrib with the family, I couldn’t wait to go to the masjid (or my uncle’s house) to solat tarawih, I couldn’t wait to do as much solat sunat as possible, as the benefit of solat sunat equals to that of a solat fardu in Ramadhan.

I’m more excited about Ramadhan than I am on raya. There’s just a lot of benefits that Ramadhan has that the other months don’t have, one of them is the fact that syaitan will be ‘handcuffed’ during Ramadhan to stop them from trying to lure the muslims from doing bad deeds, which means, the only thing that we are fighting against is our own nafs. Jihad an-nafs, one of the hardest war that we have.

Less than a week from now is Ramadhan, I hope I manage to meet Ramadhan.

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InsyaAllah, this blog will be up and running soon, as soon as I can find a way to import my entries from the now defunct blog. However, this will be the primary blog of Amy Heidi, insyaAllah.

Amy Heidi

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